Now, normally, I'd be the first one to call these a crock...

...of poo (I've been chastised for the prolific use of profanity in my entries, so there's your token). However, this year, I've actually made up a list of so-called "New Year's Resolutions". Now, since I'm inclined to think that most resolutions are just fun things you toss out while toasting on New Year's Eve: "This year, I'm going to lose weight, stop smoking, stop banging my secretary, volunteer at the soup kitchen, go to church every Sunday, AND cure cancer! Another round?"

However, as much as I've bitched, and moaned, and drug my damn feet about turning 30 this year, it's been, dare I say...liberating?

I'm a grown-up now.

a grown-up.

Now, you may read that and say, "But you've been married for over 10 years, have 3 kids, 3 cats, a dog, and a mortgage! How is that not being a grown-up?"

My answer?

Beats me. It just didn't really feel like being a real, live, adult. As opposed to being a dead adult, LOL. Seriously though, I sort of fell into my life, so to speak. Biology dictated (along with some Jim Beam), the creation of my first-born. That huffed the train on down the "yeah, I'll marry you", track, he insisted that we buy a house, even though I didn't think we could afford it, he's the one that busted his ass, and now makes a great living. I...stayed at home, popped out a few more sprats, currently in the process of attempting to raise them to be at least marginally normal adults, started about 4 SAH jobs (all of which I still have, thank you). I've yet to finish college, though I've finally settled on a degree...life just seemed as if it was living me, not the other way around, you catch?

So, in the spirit of a real, live, grown-up, I decided that New Years was as good a time as any, to make some life, resolutions. So, here they are, in all their attainable-if-I-get-my-shit-together, glory.

1-I will work out on a regular basis.

To explain that one, I used to be fat. I mean, FAT. Not like, need a forklift to get out the door fat, but big. I lost about 70 pounds, and I'm a fairly normal weight now, though I'd still love to lose about 20 pounds, but that is not what this resolution is about. I carry my weight in my midsection (however, I feel compelled to add, I have KILLER legs, LOL). My father is a brittle diabetic. I, don't want me, none o'dat. With my genetic history, and the way I carry my weight, I'm more likely to develop it. So, this isn't about looking good in a bathing suit, it's just about being more sensible, and getting more exercise, on a regular basis.

2-I will finally learn how to knit. To that end, I bought myself a little starter kit, and a nice roll ( wait, skein?), of pretty black yarn, and will attempt a scarf. If I ever figure out how to post pictures on here, I'll post the probably, laughable attempt. I tried to start it last night, but got distracted by all the pictures of the models, in their ever-so-lovely matching sweater vests, with big 80's hair, and frosty pink lipstick. My husband, could not see the humor, as I cracked the hell up. My friend Jen, however, like to peed herself when I showed her, LOL. Really, they're great pictures. The poses are lovely. I digress.

3-I will take a class, for real college credit. Even if it's the pathetic, "math for losers who can't help their 5th grade son, with his math homework" class, that is only worth about 1/2 a credit. I also feel compelled to add, that he is in GT math classes.

4-I will write, diligently, at least every other day, and make at least marginal progress on the damn book (and there's no cussing in it! Well, not much, LOL) I've been working on for about...10 years? No, just 9. I think. Even if it's crap, it's progressive crap.

5-I will pin down the damn artist to help me finish the layout of the children's book I wrote (that one, really doesn't have any profanity, of any type. I swear.). The book has been done for 2 years, just been dicking around with picking an artist, layout, etc.

6-I will flay my fingers, at least twice a month, on my guitar, on which, I can play a wicked, "Old McDonald had a Farm", but that's about it.

7-I will find books that Aidan (my 8 year old, who is dyslexic) enjoys to read on his own. His reading is so much damn better, it's not the constant struggle it used to be. He's beginning to discover how great books can be. It is so over-the-top important to me, to impart a love of books to him. I love my husband, but damn if I'm not totally having an affair with the written word.

8-I will figure out a way to make a fondant that doesn't taste like elmer's glue, rolled out on a cake. Seriously, that stuff tastes like shit.

I think that's about it. Oh wait. One more. We're adopting a person at the nursing home that I worked in as a teen. It was a disgusting job, but I met the most fascinating women there! It's small, run by polish nuns (literally, from Poland), the convent is on the grounds. I want the kids to have that same opportunity.

I'm not sure that's really a resolution though.

I really wanted one that said I got to eat more cake, but, I'm thinking that directly counteracts the first one, so I crossed it off the list.

Eat me! drreid-blockston@cavtel.net