All Hail the powers of inconsistency!

For their powers are mighty!

I swear. If I live to be 100, I will NEVER be able to fathom my mother's motives.

The last time we saw each other, she was freaking out about not knowing which drawer I keep my kitchen utensils in. Seriously. As if, not knowing where I store my sporks, is a metaphor for our relationship. Which, granted, blows, but sporks? C'mon.

The last time I talked to her on the phone it was:

Me: "hey mom"

Her: "hang on, I'll get your father"

My father dropped in earlier this week, where I was treated to a rather lengthy treaty, on how all things in the World of Bob, suck. The end of which, was...'Just to give you a heads up, your mom is PISSED at you".

Me: "Why?"

Him: "I dunno."

How informative.

So, when my cell rang this evening, and I read the display, I seriously thought about not answering. Then, I thought, "you know what? BRING IT ON SISTA!"

Her: "HI!!"

Me: "Um..hi." (What the fuck?)

Her: "So, 8:40 tomorrow morning. You can just drop the boys at my house!"

Me: "um, okay."

Her: "It's much nicer, now that they changed the morning service time, it lets you sleep a little later."

Me: "uh, yeah, it does. Sleep is nice. It's good. Everyone loves sleep"... it was as if a sheepdog momentarily took over my brain.

Her: "Okay babe, you have fun tonight, and I'll see you when you come pick up the boys tomorrow afternoon. Bye!"

WHAT THE HOLY FUCKING HELL?

See, normally, we follow a routine. We start the board at "You are so totally fun to hang out with!"..this leads to: "Now that we are hanging out, how about I beat you with a bible?? Doesn't that sound like FUN?!?!?!?! This, invariably leads to the weepy: "Why won't you trust me? I know what I'm talking about! I would rather that you hated me, and loved him (him, being god)" phase. Then we leap on over into Frosty disappointment-land. From there, you head around the block to: "You know what, I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER".

Now, she's skipping steps in a game we've been playing for years.

Apparently, she DOES have something left to teach me.

*sigh* drreid-blockston@cavtel.net