Would you please pass the hooch?

Why is it, that mothers feel compelled to get around other mothers and talk shop ALL THE FUCKING TIME?

I was recently invited out, by my mother's best friend's daughter (got that?). She is a perfectly nice girl, she really is. She has three children, though hers are a little younger than my own, and is just...nice.

She has been asking me for a few months, to attend a meeting of MOPS, or MNO, some organization with an "M" in the acryonym, with her. Now, I am sure that MOPS, or whatever, is a lovely group of women, with lovely children, and lovely...hair. However, not really my cuppa tea, you catch?

I sidestepped the issue for a few, well, months (procrastination? Me?), and was finally cornered on the issue. All of the the "Uh, I think I'm having my tonsils removed that day" excuses had already been used, I was out of disposable body parts. So, finally, I had to explain that I just didn't want to go.

She proceeded to share with me how a "meeting" goes. First of all, not to iterrupt, but I don't want to attend ANYTHING with the word "meeting" in it. This is why I am self-employed. Apparently, they have a speaker, who speaks on a child/parent related topic, then they break up into groups, depending on zip code, and discuss the previous speaker.

"Sometimes we discuss disipline, how to handle temper tantrums, crafts to do with them, and sometimes we just share cute stories about our children".

Well goodie. That is exactly what I want to do, when I have two hours without my children. Sit around and talk about them.

And, by the way? Those "cute" stories we mothers like to tell about our kids? Other people don't think they're cute. They're either waiting their turn to tell what their kid did that was REALLY cute, thinking "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR CHILD???", or "Why the fuck wont she/he SHUT UP about their fucking kid already?"

When did it become wrong, for a mother, especially a SAHM, to not want to be mommy 24/7? Why is it perfectly acceptable, in fact, expected, from mothers who work outside the home, to have other interests, hobbies, other topics of discussion than motherhood? I stay home with my kids, because it was important to Doug and I that one of us be home, and be with the littles when they get home from school, when they're sick, etc., and we've finanically, been able to make it work. Not because there was nothing else I could do with all that time.

Being a SAH, does not mean that I lost my ability to think about things not involving how to get little Timmy to shit on the potty, and not eat his boogers (for the record, NONE of my children are booger-eaters). I love my kids. I love staying home with them all the time. I really do. However, this does not mean that I have to immerse myself in them to the point of drowning the gal who I am, OUTSIDE of being da'momma. If I have a few child-free hours, I want to spend it celebrating who I am, outside of parenting, I want to use explicit profanity, have a screaming debate over world politics or religon, while smoking excessively over shots of bourbon.

You should have SEEN the silence on the other end of the phone when I told her that. I think she was a little shocked, but at the same time, I think it made her pause and think.

It's OKAY for us to not spend all of our time parenting. It's OKAY to need adult conversation that doesn't involve the words "potty", "binky", or "wooby". This isn't an excuse to get drunk at noon while they're eating their PB&J for lunch. Needing some time to be YOU, doesn't make you a bad mother. It might just make you a better one.

Hey, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

The kids are gone for the day, so pass the hooch, would ya?