Just let me introduce myself...

My name is Humpty, pronounced with an 'humpty...

LMAO....

This was originally supposed to be a post introducing the newest kidlet in my world, but got distracted "and my sounds laid down by the Underground"...but again, I digress.

Emma Josephine was born somewhere around 4:30 AM, weighing in at 6 lbs, 5 oz...while her older sister did headstands on my bed. Literally. AT 4:30. That's AM. As in, unless you are the one who just gave birth, or strung out on coke, you're asleep for. Oh, and unless you're my in-laws, in which case you're probably still playing Texas Hold 'Em, and drinking Coors Light, if it's a weekend.

Wow. That's a whole 'nother post.

I haven't posted for a few days. I know, I know, my masses of adoring fans were heartbroken. I got an accidental drunk on, Saturday, and then Sunday was spent recovering, since, at the ripe old age of 29, I've managed to learn how to get a hangover. Lordisa, hangovers SUCK. I used to be able to drink entire bottles of Jim Beam, and not get hungover...now, give me a pitcher or two of margaritas, and I'm no good for a day or two.

It really was an accidental drunk. You know how it goes. Out with friends, no kids tagging along, you're being a pissy bitch because your baby daddy was gone all day helping his brother tear down the stone facade of his house, you're on the rag....so your friend offers you a margarita. You accept one, and drink two. Then you leave, and the stupid bartender cannot comprehend NO SALT. As in, NONE. Not so much as a kernel (is it a salt kernel? or a piece of salt? a salt sprinkle, but that implies more than one, since when you sprinkle...you know what? Nevermind) . So, I managed to drink 1/2 of both anyway. Back to their joint, where you have one, maybe 2, or 3, then they give you a "traveler" (for the record, responsible momma was NOT driving. At that point, I wasn't even walking so well), and BAM. By the time you are 1/2 way home, you're singing along at the top of your lungs to the Harper valley PTA, that your so very mucho NOT drunk husband is insisting that you listen to, because he didn't get to have any fun tonight, so he'd like to torture you with country music on the ride home. I don't even remember going to bed.

The nice part about marriage, is knowing that even if the other person takes advantage of you, while incapacitated, you're not going to get an STD.

There are other perks, or course.

There are.

I'm sure there are.

Hang on, I'm working on it....

Well, let's just say there are, and leave it at that, k?