Having grown up with a mother who was Betty Crocker on speed, one must wonder, HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS? You know how, when your children are infants, you think " I can't wait until they talk/sleep through the night/walk/can pick their own nose/manage to vomit on something other than the $300 blanket you just bought from Crate and Barrel? Then, they can do all of those things (with the exception of the vomit-aiming, which, apparently, given my husband as an example, is not a skill that boys EVER learn), at which point, your thoughts start running along the lines of "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING". How the hell am I supposed to help a 10 year old boy, in the throes of pre-adolescent angst, figure this shit out, and at the same time, still be able to find my living room floor on a regular basis? I mean, I was queen of angst, still am, on some days (I'm working on getting more and more tortured in my old age, which is surprisingly difficult these days, so I'm leaning more towards cranky), but I didn't understand boys then, let alone now. My husband (who, from now on, will be referred to, my baby daddy) is no help. I swear, he's the most normal person I've ever met, in my entire life. No angst. Nothing. Happy childhood, parents love each other, no skeletons in the closets, nothing. How the hell is that even possible, in this day and age? But I digress....which, you'll notice, happens alot. It's another skill you loose when you have multiple children. The ability to maintain a thought pattern for longer than 2 or 3 minutes. I spend most of my day saying "What the hell was I just doing? I know I came in here for a reason?".
My oldest son, will be 10 in a few months. If I allow him to live that long. He was always my example child, my "TV kid". Now he's angry, defensive, and apparently, has inherited his momma's dry wit. Lovely. It's just peachy to live with a hormonal, smaller version of yourself, but with a PENIS.
So, as I sit in my messy ass house, which, was spotless yesterday morning (seriously, I had company), I wonder, just what the hell are these people ON, anyway? And you know exactly who I mean by "these people". They're the ones that whenever you stop over, their house is clean, they've just finished baking bread, and are teaching their pre-schooler algebra. I actually got up early to make a lesson plan the other day for the boyos. I printed out age appropriate activities, planned this week and next, made a list of supplies that we would need. They woke up, I made breakfast, got everyone dressed, and then dragged FIVE children to the store (2 are spares. I'm fertile, but not insane). I even had time to brag on my mom's list about all the neat stuff we would spend the next few days doing.....
By the time I got back from the store, it was all I could do to slap PB&J sandwiches together, throw some strawberries on their plates, and lay their asses down for a nap.
I spent two hours planning, $60 at the damn store, and so far, everything is gathering dust on the top of my previously clean fridge.
Whatever.
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3 comments:
Oh my god, your life sounds like mine!!! complete with the perfect childhood hubby...I only have 2 kids but somedays as I find myself getting excited over the fact that I managed to keep one room clean for 5 seconds, wonder how it is that this is what my life is reduced to... that this is what I call exciting and fufilling. A "tidy" living room. And I know what you mean about the bread baking, clean house friends. I have a few. They not only have that but completed scrapbook pages! I'm trying to be ok with the fact that I'm a slob and so be default are my kids....
Luckily my hubby doesn't seem to mind... Love your blog!!!
Sorry to post again, but I'm wondering if you are homeschooling? I saw you mention lesson plans. We are planning on starting this fall, and since I lack major organizational skills, I'm starting to get panicked!
Take care!
LOL, I am SO not homeschooling! I have mucho respect for those that do, but it's not for me. Mommy likes not living in a rubber room, LOL. My middle son, Aidan, who is 7, is dyslexic. He's being tutored, which will continue over the summer. I needed to find activities that will keep him reading and writing over the summer, without it seeming like a punishement. I found a great website, www.enchantedlearning.com which has different activities within the same general heading (ie, dinosaurs, space, etc), for pre-schoolers to 4th graders. This way, it's more of a fun thing, that all the littles do together. I'm one of the least organized people I know, LOL. My baby daddy cannot TOUCH my desk, it only LOOKS messy to YOU. To me, I know where everything is. You just have to give 10 minutes. Thanks for posting comments! I've never done a blog before, but I have major writers block (trying to break into some freelance work), and just figured as long as I write everyday, at least it's SOMETHING. I'm finding I really enjoy it. It allows me to spit off whatever is rolling around in this big ole head, LOL.
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