You tell me what you want, and I'll tell you what you get...

...you get away from me...

how sucky is it, that at the ripe old age of 29, I still can't make peace with my momma?

"For your sake, I hope heaven and hell are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath. You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste death?"

How appropriate...

I hate the fact that the prospect of spending a day with them makes my insides twist and squirm, my skin shrink like it's a dress that's two sizes too small, but I just gotta fit in the damn thing. Gotta keep the mouth shut, can't talk too much, too loud, don't drink that beer, they'll think you're an alcoholic (which, was actually a fairly funny conversation), along with being the heathen irresponsible momma who don't take her kids to church, who is just a fucking weirdo that we all tolerate, because she'll eventually stop running away from god and us, and come BACK. How do you deal with that, when what they want, it doesn't exist, it never did, I just stopped pretending, and put on a different outfit, so they'd stop asking to see that old dress? That dress was just something my mother draped me in, like a paper doll...

I ain't NO FUCKING DOLL.

What I am, is a little drunk, a little weepy, a little angry at myself, for letting them do this to me, over and over and over again, and furious that who I am, just isn't enough. It's never enough. I could cure AIDS, diseases, poverty, world hunger, and bring about world peace, but if I'm not going to church, and praising her god, it's all ashes in her mouth.

I'm so damn tired. I can't cut them out, maybe it's because I'm a fucking coward (entirely possible), and not that I just can't break her heart, it's been broken by so many people, over so many years, so many losses, she's just a shell that was filled with religon and bibles, and jesus...Maybe it's that I'm afraid of what she'll say about ME....the daughter who was never quite good enough, never quite athletic enough, never thin enough, never quite enough like my older brother, never thick enough,never pushed enough, never quite lived up to projected expectations...

just not quite enough, off by a hair, but if you'd just...

fill in the blank.

work out more
work harder
stop fighting
figure out why you're so angry (make no mistake about it folks, I'm one pissed off broad)

So, instead, I'll finish up making the pumpkin cheesecake, go to bed, get up tomorrow, dress, go over to my parent's house, and listen while my mother finds a way to flay the skin off my back without breaking a sweat, cracking a nail, or wearing off her bright red lipstick. Then I'll go home, get drunk, and wish I was still young enough to pull off a nice bathroom flagellation, and scrub the skin until it falls off in defeat, and all that's left is new skin, shinny and red, ready for the next round.

join the club: drreid-blockston@cavtel.net

Too much too soon?

As I finish decorating for christmas, I wonder, is it too much, too soon, to hang up the stockings?

I have everything done but the lights, garland, and the stockings...

What?

Thanksgiving?

Be thankful any day, slacker, it's CHRISTMAS TIME!

ARRGHHH...

A'hoy me maties!

and THAT is my pirate impersonation.

Shiver me timbers @: Drreid-blockston@cavtel.net

And higher still....

Oh.

My...

just one more little tidbit from the right wing. Enjoy!

"For once, the anger and intolerance which is very much a part of the gay rights movement was directed at one of their own, since John Corvino, who argued for a “No” vote in the upcoming referendum, is himself, a homosexual. "

http://www.cclmaine.org/

Anger and intolerance? You mean the rednecks who tied Matthew Shepard to a fence and then literally stoned him to death?

You mean the fuckers that drive down the road and yell "Faggot"?

Or, the assholes with signs similar to "God hates Fags" (you have to admire theioriginalityty, as well as their creativeness! Talk about thinking outside the box).

Filled with anger and intolerance @ : drreid-blockston@cavtel.net

My chance of a stroke? Higher by the word.

ARGHHHH!

No, that is NOT my pirate impersonation.

I swear to GOG. The more I read, the less I realize I know, and the high my blood pressure climbs.

What the fuck is wrong with these people, that they think they are their "god"'s representative on earth? What the fuck makes them so damn sure that they are right? Talk about fucking ego...

Here's a clip....
Two weeks from today voters across the country will head to the polls to decide on issues ranging from child custody laws to school funding. Several states however will decide on issues of personal freedom and equal rights.
One of the more astounding is an attempt to roll back the rights of homosexuals in Maine, being spearheaded by religious right leaders both in the state and nationally.
Earlier this year, Maine’s governor signed legislation banning discrimination based on sexual orientation. Maine’s Christian Civic League immediately went into action, collecting signatures to allow a “Peoples Veto”. The religious right got its signatures, so on November 8th Mainers will head to the polls to vote on whether the law should be repealed (a “YES” vote will allow discrimination, a “NO” vote will uphold the law). According to the Christian Civic League:
If sexual orientation is added to Maine’s legal code it will start the implementation of policies that discriminate against people with traditional views of morality.
This makes sense.
The majority of Mainers see it differently, as do a growing number of Maine’s Christian community. Churches across the state have come out in support of this law ensuring civil liberties for homosexuals, and opposing the position of the Christian Civic League. As David Henry of Lamoine Baptist Church told the Bangor Daily News, “Jesus never called on us to hate anyone on account of anything…..We are called to love in genuine ways.”

http://defconblog.org/2005/10/the-right-to-discriminate/#more-37

I wonder how long it would take them to arrest that long-haired hippy freak Jesus under the Patriot Act.

Born okay the first time: drreid-blockston@cavtel.net